Various media have captured in detail the menace of the unexpected guest or visitor who comes calling, but handling the anticipated visitor is also a challenging prospect that tests organizational and man-management skills – the host can easily be lulled into complacence by the garb of familiarity resulting in rather nasty surprises, and thus needs to be vigilant. It is often during such visits that one may realize that things are not as they seem.
One of the basic issues is around assumptions of likes and dislikes. For example, cooking the wrong dish is a common recipe for disaster! Remembering what a person relishes and reviles is a skill not many culinarians can lay claim to; it is a tricky topic that is easy to trip up on. There are so many variables involved – selection of fresh produce, cuisine type, and, sugar, salt and spiciness levels to name a few. It is a veritable minefield that requires expert navigation.
Then there is the subject of which TV channels to watch; if the guest shares your choice of favourite shows, all is well. If not, at some point the host begins to start counting the days until departure of the visitor (in recent years, technology has come to the rescue here with the ability to record shows and watch them later, allowing the host to earn some brownie points by exhibiting selflessness and magnanimity).
Another sensitive topic is the allocation of rooms. For people with houses having dedicated guest rooms, or for those with children who have flown the nest and whose rooms can be repurposed as guest rooms, this is not a problem. Otherwise, this is almost always a bone of contention – someone in the household has to give up their room (and/or bathroom, which can be doubly frustrating depending on the ‘cleanliness quotient’ of the visitor), ironically becoming a guest themselves as they gingerly flit in and out of their rooms when the guests are away.
For guests with infants and young children, there is the additional need to make the room safe and convenient – fragile and dangerous objects need to be put away, beds and linen need to be done right, and any allergy requirements need to be taken care of by sanitizing the room accordingly.
Transportation arrangements also complicate matters. Excluding arrival and departure which are one-time activities, intra-city travel requirements may necessitate taking the circuitous route while on the way to work or study to accommodate the guest’s plans, or having to lend a car (along with a driver if available) to provide the optimum visitor experience! As again, technology has evolved to provide succour to the beleaguered hosts by means of ride-hailing services; though there might not be a full escape as a smartphone is required to make the bookings (hence a local SIM card may need to be added to the lending list).
Speaking of communication devices, the host may in some cases be obliged to assume the role of an interlocutor and secretary, making appointments and charting the itinerary for the visitor, as some of them can be real divas! Time is a precious commodity for the visitor who is on a whirlwind trip, so sometimes the host’s home may be used as the meeting point for a get-together.
Having been both a visitor and a host, I have experienced both perspectives. I played the former role in the early part of my childhood as we made the annual trip to India from the Middle East during the summer holidays, and donned the latter role at various times during the next two decades after our return to India. And now, I’ve become a visitor again! Although I must say (and not just because I have the liberty to do so being the author of this piece) that I was an undemanding visitor, and a gracious host!